All animals strive to survive. Relationships are very important to humans.
Humans are born with four basic needs. We know them by our emotions. The needs are: the need to know that we Belong, the need to feel competent-Powerful, the need to feel Free and the need for Fun/learning.

We all have all these needs all the time but we need one of them a little more. It's our strongest need in our personality. Some people need more belonging. Some need to feel more power, competent, more in control. Some need more freedom and more choices. Some people will only learn if they think it is fun to learn.
No one can make another do what they have no desire to do.

We only behave (do / act) from birth to death trying to meet these needs.

Theories and practices developed by Dr William Glasser, psychiatrist, psychologist and general practitioner.

Basic Principles

From birth we learn through our five senses. We store things we learn about and then value, cherish, want, in what Glasser calls our Quality World.

We only work hard for what is in our Quality World. The pictures in our own private Quality World are of what will satisfy our personal needs / wants.

We have five continuing needs. First is the same for all living creatures: we are driven to attempt to stay alive and reproduce so that the species will continue (we call this survival). The other 4 are particularly human needs. Love and Belonging, Power, Freedom, Fun. All that humans do from birth to death is attempt to satisfy these five needs.

Short of large gains or major pain one person cannot MAKE another do something they do not want to do.

So in attempting to reach what is in our Quality world we behave (act, do) to satisfy the five needs / wants. For instance;

1. A child who has not seen reading, learning, working for money, will not have had a chance to have put those things in their Quality World. Send that child to school and they will try to satisfy what is in their quality world through surviving, seeking love and belonging, trying to get power, and have freedom and fun. What do they know of schooling and what will they be able to value? How will they try to get what is already in their Quality World – perhaps run, play, be outside, chase fauna and each other – or will they look at the book / screen / schoolwork.

2. A person who enjoys 6 or 8 alcoholic drinks a day will value that because they have put alcohol drinking into their quality world.

In both examples change is very hard. But if the “picture” of change is not developing in their Quality World almost no change will occur. The person must want to change. In preparing programs, teachers work to provide for the five needs and attempt to develop activities that will link to every student’s Quality World.

Glasser puts all factors together on the “Behaviour Car”.

A group develops a social contract – the rules under which we operate – at Anzac Hill High School we call it the “Green Line” – above which are the expectations, below which are guidelines that can be negotiated – giving students input or power to show they belong, and can have fun and freedom. People who cannot follow the expectations need to leave the group, develop a plan of agreement and work on accepting the social contract to return.

Reality Therapy is about how you converse with a person who has problems. The conversation aims to get the person to affirm what they value, decide what they want and then develop a plan to change. The plan might take some time and small steps might have to be in place for change to begin.

To see our green line - Click here